Suprised by Joy

"The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief."

Life has a way of throwing us surprises, sometimes these surprises are welcome, and pleasant… other times we may be thrown off guard and give a rash response that we reflect upon later. Sometimes the scenario leaves us something to smile about maybe even laugh about, other times the surprise is completely unwelcome leaving us devastated upon receipt.

Take for example a scene from the hit sitcom Happy Endings, that I recently stumbled across while cleaning out my DVR ......On this episode, Jane a very high strung individual,  demonstrates for us just how bad a surprise... Even well intended ones can go... Janes friends had decided to throw her a surprise birthday party. Their efforts work so well that Jane screams out, not in pleasure but in terror.  Like any rationale person would respond to being jumped at shouting Jane reaches into her purse while screaming at the top of her lungs and proceeds to reward her well meaning friends with a can of mace.
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 Even as a child I found that I held a special place in my heart for the writings of C.S. Lewis. Perhaps it was the discovery of Narnia and later on the realization that Narnia's creator was also a theologian. Perhaps it was his humorous portrayal of temptation manifest as the allegorical demon, Wormwood, which won my admiration... And so i read with hunger his works in chronological order of authorship so that I could witness how his theology changed through his life…
That winter I received a surprise of my own. My mother called me… I could hear in her voice that something was wrong… I knew that she had gone to the doctors that morning for a cancer screening. I knew from what she couldn’t say …that the results were not good. Even though I was half way across the country and without the ability to see her, I could hear the held back tears in her voice… She was afraid, she felt shocked, surprised… and yet here she was trying to console her son that she was ok, and that all would work out.
This surprise left me breathless… horrified, and without knowing how to proceed. For the first time in my life I did not know what to do next. I didn’t know how to respond… I was terrified.
That weekend my friends decided to try to cheer me up by taking me to see Anthony Hopkins acting as C.S. Lewis in the movie Shadow Lands. The title of the movie should have been a clue to us all in, on what part of this great man’s life the movie would entail… a hard part….
C.S. Lewis had written about the theological concept of how to balance the notion of a loving God and the fact that our lives are often filled with pain. His response was something that I had been holding onto. An emotion closely observed ceases to be an emotion and becomes a mental construct. Something we can look at, objectify, quantify, and disassemble. This trick of emotionally detaching from our lives can work… and often is the tool we each use to deal with the harder surprises that life throws at us. This is the tool that Lewis had used his entire life to mold himself into someone that could care for his ailing alcoholic father, and then play the same role for his elder brother who also had given in to the same affliction.
For Lewis… pain was a tool that one could use to better themselves… pain was something that you could channel to take a rough looking stone and chisel out the diamond that had been hidden. From this construct we have such statements from his writings as, “Pain is God’s megaphone for a deaf world.”
Up till this point I had agreed with that statement… that pain was a motivator that prevented us from doing that which did not suite our higher selves, pain was a motivator for me to ask the deeper questions in my life.
Lewis though… had yet to meet Joy when he uttered those words… Joy was something that Lewis had yet to encounter in his life. He had never been in love, he had never allowed an emotion to get the upper hand in his life. Growing up without a mother, and with a father that he had to care for, as if he was the parent, had forced Lewis to detach from his emotions early on, and to channel their energy in ways that helped him cope with his world.
Often we paint upon God characteristics that are only a representation of how we, as individuals see the world around us. We paint upon the divine, and in turn our perceptions of one another, watercolors brought to life with tears…
Lewis found Joy when he decided to allow himself to feel the wholeness of his life.
In the movie Shadow Lands, C.S. meets a young American female poet that he names Joy. At first he treats her with the same detached emotions that he has used to cope with life.
Joy has a young son that reminds Lewis of himself… and when Joy and her son are facing deportation back to America, Lewis steps in and offers Joy his hand in marriage. Joy accepts the arrangement and the two become legally married so that she and her son can stay in England.
Some time passes, and Lewis has grown to know Joy… but know her from afar. He enjoys seeing her… getting to know who she is… but never allowing her to become a part of his life. Then, one day, he is shocked to discover that Joy has cancer… she is dying and soon he will see Joy no more… how often is it in our lives that this is the same of us… we do not appreciate something till its time with us becomes threatened…
Lewis decided to let Joy into his life at long last. Instead of courting her from afar he lets her in. He decides to marry her and make her a part of his life. For the first time he embraces her and the two become one… when that which brought Lewis happiness is taken away from him he is left emotionally bedraggled. A colleague sees him in his grief and tries to console him… ‘it must be hard for a man of prayer, and faith… to not have God answer his own prayers.’ The man continues on trying to console him, but Lewis interrupts the man and torts back a statement that would in later days become famous, ‘I pray, NOT to change God, but to change myself.’
At the time, when I saw this movie it was hard for me to sit through it all… to sit through and watch the little boy with a dying mother… it was all too close to home… but the story painted a picture for me… it spoke on many levels, and it still speaks to me today.
We court Joy in our lives… we often hold it at bay and observe it from afar. Our reasons for doing so are each unique but we have all had the experience of not letting Joy in… not letting each other in…
When the moments of surprise hits you in this life, be they welcome or not, let these be moments of opportunity for you to embrace the joy of the gift that is called the present.
Joy does not come in the form of memories… joy is in the experience of the now. It is not an emotion like happiness, or being in love… one of my favorite definitions of Joy is that Joy is the source of delight.
Joy is the source… of delight.
From Joy we learn how to engage the world around us…  how to enjoy the world around us… we learn how to embrace the ever fleeting now to seize the day… We learn how to reach for something more than ourselves in this world.
Brother David Stendle Ross writes, ‘Have you ever noticed how your eyes open a bit wider when you are surprised, it is as if you have been asleep… merely day dreaming and all of a sudden you are awake… humdrum equals deadness… surprise equals life…’ Let the moments of surprise awaken you to see the moments of your life as moments of opportunity to seize the joy that surrounds you. Ross states, ‘My favorite name for the one I worship in wonder is Surprise.’ Surprise is a name for the divine….
Joy is something that we must hold onto… when we practice holding onto the deeper truths of our lives that bring us happiness and enjoyment of life we are more prepared to meet the challenges … we begin to see the moments that quickly pass by as opportunities to share of ourselves.
Let the surprises of your life open your eyes with wonder to the many sources of Joy in your life. See each other… see that which brings you joy and hold onto it the now.
Do not wait for Joy to enter into your life… learn to see how you may be courting it from a distance… learn to marry Joy with your life… learn to embrace Joy with a sense of wonder, and gratitude. Every well eventually runs dry my friends… so learn to find the many wellsprings of that deep joy in our lives. Joy come from many sources, the one thing that these sources will always share is that they exist in the now.

Sri Chinmoy writes
True inner joy is self-created.
It does not depend on outer circumstances.
A river is flowing in
and through you
carrying the message of joy.
This divine joy is the purpose of life.
What is joy then?
It is a bird that we all want
To catch…
It is the same bird that we all love
To see flying.
The ever mounting flame
Of my hearts aspiration – cry
Is the source of my life’s
Ever---Increasing ---Joy ---- and delight.

The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning.

My friends, my fellow seekers… allow yourself to let go of your fears, allow yourself to find that Joy that is waiting for you… within you. In so doing you will allow yourself to find that Joy is waiting all around you.  When the moments of surprise hits you, be they welcome or not, let they be moments of opportunity for you to embrace the gifts of joy that exist in our present.
In the words of Reverend Kim Crawford Harvey:
May our eyes be opened to the gifts of the present. Spirit Divine, Let us cast our lots with goodness, and as far as possible take nothing for granted. Awake and curious, may we welcome the future, and may surprise unlock our capacity for gratitude and set us free…
So mote it be.